Nature’s Female vs. Human Conditioned Female

Ever wondered why we look at a lioness in nature when she shows her teeth or runs from danger and think “Wow she’s so powerful. She’s in her element.”

But when you see a woman do that like Britney Spears when her nervous system was rebelling against control or any woman you can think of that tried to show her teeth and was labeled as “masculine”, “bitchy”, “crazy”, “too much”?

Human females are no different from any other female animal. We are born with self preservation and boundaries, we are born with instincts to fight or flee danger and only freeze when those two options are unavailable. But the society conditions so many women to abandon fight or flight and stay in unsafe situations for years and decades defaulting to freeze and fawn as a survival strategy. It looks like softness, it looks like sexiness on demand, it looks like palatability, being digestible, being acceptable, keeping the peace, keeping everyone else comfortable, absolving other people of responsibility to own their emotional states, smoothing things out, carrying everything, listening endlessly and taking in what other people refuse to own and metabolize. In society it’s usually called “being a wonderful friend who everyone can turn to in the time of need” even though her own needs often go unmet, she looks like a wonderful mother who does everything for everyone and forgets herself, she’s a diligent worker who stays at the office late finishing up projects and carrying more than she is supposed to, and unable to say no. These are not character flaws, this is frozen biology that at some point learned that to freeze and appease is the only way to survive. The question should be not “What’s wrong with me?”. The question should be “what did I have to survive for my system to learn that this is the only way to make it through?”. And return the blame where it belongs. There is nothing wrong with you. Your biology is doing exactly what it had to do to keep you alive. But now it’s not serving you anymore because if survival means self abandonment, it doesn’t produce a healthy, happy life in adulthood. But it can also be unlearned things to neuroplasticity.

Most women don’t realize what that conditioning cost them biologically. That “no”you wanted to say when someone was crossing your boundary, but your body froze? It’s still in your body, waiting for safety to be released, causing real harm to your health.

Next time when you feel a wave of anger instead of turning it inward and self-destructing, turn it where it belongs. Into a healthy boundary, into a healthy exit. Restore that natural self preservation instinct you were born with before you were conditioned to override it.

This is what we learn to do here at Homecoming Wellness. Pairing somatic exercises with strength training to reclaim your original design you were born with. Reconnecting with your fight and flight responses that laid dormant under freeze. Reclaiming your birthright.

You weren’t born to be tamed.

You were born to be whole.