Whose Version Of Success Are You Pursuing?

We’ve all seen the glossy pictures of “success” shoved down our throats: yachts, Chanel bags, private jets. But here’s the truth: this version of success was created by people with dysregulated nervous systems. And if you can’t live up to that standard? You’re not broken.

Every mammal has four survival states: fight, flight, freeze, fawn. In unsafe environments, one or two dominate.

• Fight/flight folks seek safety in movement: hustle, output, domination.

• Freeze/fawn folks seek safety in collapse or pleasing others.

Both are survival adaptations. But only one is glorified. Only one gets called “success.”

That endless hustle? It’s not superiority. It’s biology. For fight/flight people, movement feels safe.For freeze/fawn people, stillness and merging feel safe. And guess who calls freeze/fawn “lazy” or “weak”? That’s right - fight/flight folks, projecting their survival state as the gold standard.

But here’s the reality: fight/flight is just as dysregulated. It produces output, yes, but it also produces burnout, broken relationships, and exploitation. It’s dysregulation with good PR. And if it were truly “success,” our world wouldn’t look like it’s collapsing under the weight of conquest and overdrive.

So what does real success look like?

• Baseline safety.

• A nervous system that can move and rest.

• Creating without depletion.

• Giving and receiving in flow.

Not utopian. Just biologically correct.

Next time you see someone flexing their jets and endless grind mindset, remember: you can build a version of success that doesn’t hurt you - or others. Success that starts from safety.